This is a sneak peak of the prologue and chapter one

PROLOGUE

Hazel

Now

I couldn’t believe I was stepping foot in Ledger Beckham’s house again. 

Especially after what happened the last two times I was there. Despite the first time being over eleven years ago, it still felt like I was reliving that moment of utter heartbreak, and I was only standing at his front door. I promised myself I’d never give him the time of day after I got even with him a few months ago. 

Yet there I was. Waiting for I don’t know what. 

At this point, I ran on pure adrenaline of what I had to do before I lost the nerve to actually do it. Once again, the Beckhams were having a party. Except this time, it wasn’t for Ledger’s high school graduation. It was for his little sister Haven’s instead. 

My heart beat out of my chest at an unbelievable speed, making it hard to catch my next breath. I hated that he still had this overwhelming power over me, but now it was for a different reason. The most important one being why I was there to begin with. I was about to lay it out on him, fully aware that once I did, it would forever change the course of both our lives. 

I inhaled a deep breath, staring at the doorbell with wide eyes and an anxious expression that was clear across my face. There was no hiding from it. 

There was no hiding from him. 

You heard about this type of situation happening to a friend, a cousin, or a neighbor all the time, but you never considered it could happen to you. Especially when you took all the necessary precautions to be a responsible adult. 

However, it didn’t matter. 

There was no going back. 

No changing the past. 

Our only option was to go forward whether we wanted to or not. I had to tell him the truth. There was absolutely no way I could keep this from him. Not when he was still my twin brother Chance’s best friend. 

How will we explain this to everyone? How do I explain this to him?

I inhaled another deep breath, debating if I would truly pull this off. 

Maybe I could write him a letter? An email? A text message? 

I shook my head, knowing this was how I needed to tell him. It was the right thing to do.

Face-to-face. 

One-on-one. 

Besides, it was my fault we were in this situation in the first place. My stupid pride got in the way of my rational thinking when I randomly saw Ledger a couple of months ago at a bar in New York. All I wanted was to get back at him. To finally give him a taste of his own medicine. Bottom line, those were my intentions. 

I was a fool. 

Dumb fucking emotions. 

With a trembling hand, I knocked on the door, and Haven answered. This was quickly followed by a shocked expression on her behalf about why I was there. It was obvious that was what she was thinking. Not only was Ledger my brother’s best friend but his family’s ranch was also my parents’ biggest competitor. 

During our childhood, my family remained neutral on Chance being best friends with the enemy. However, business became business for my parents, and they declared war on the Beckhams’ ranch after I left for college. 

While Chance remained loyal to Ledger and his family, I stayed out of it. I hadn’t lived in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, since I moved away to New York for college and didn’t visit often. My home wasn’t this small town anymore; honestly, it never felt like it was. 

From an early age, I knew I wanted more out of life than what Wyoming had to offer. I had big dreams and bigger goals. I was a city girl now and had no desire to move back to this town. Even with my unexpected predicament. 

I owned the clothing brand Sin, which was housed in all the high-end department stores around the world. From lingerie to swimwear to athletics and shoes, whatever you needed, Sin had it. I made sure of it. 

This town could never handle my fashion sense, then or now. The stares I received from my professional yet sexy black pantsuit with a tight corset and sky-high red bottom heels wasn’t lost on me as I pumped gas in my Audi rental before I found the courage to knock on Ledger’s door. 

I overheard my brother talking to Ledger on the phone earlier that morning about Haven’s party at his family’s ranch. Since I wasn’t in town a lot, from an outsider looking in, it probably seemed like I stayed true to my parents’ business matters, and I never tried to prove otherwise.

I couldn’t. 

My hatred for Ledger wouldn’t allow it. 

Memories of that night from eleven years ago formed in the forefront of my mind as Haven and I locked eyes. 

She opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it. 

I shyly smiled, coaxing, “Wow, you’ve grown up since the last time I saw you.” 

There were six siblings in the Beckham household. Haven was the youngest, the only girl, and twenty years younger than her eldest brother, Jace. Ledger was the third son, and he’d eventually inherit the ranch. Out of all of them, he was always the most passionate about ranch life. 

The walk. 

The talk. 

The attitude. 

Ledger Beckham was a cowboy through and through. 

I was the first to break the silence, asking, “Is Ledger around? I need to talk to him.” 

She nodded. “Come in.” 

“I can just wait out here.” 

“Hazel, it’s fine. You can come in.” 

I reluctantly gave in, swallowing the perpetual lump in my throat as I crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me. 

Everything happened so fast but so slow at the same time. One minute, I’m standing at their front door, and the next, I’m in front of a very pissed-off Ledger Beckham. 

Not that I could blame him with how I left things between us, but the asshole deserved it. 

In true form, he wore his black cowboy hat and boots with a plaid orange-and-black flannel shirt. The three cross tattoos on his neck were on full display, along with the ones on his hands and arms. His black beard was longer than I remembered, but his bright green eyes glared at me. 

He was as handsome and rugged as ever. 

Fuck him. 

With a sudden harsh tone, he bit, “Why are you here, Hazel? What else do you need from our ranch that you haven’t already tried to take?” 

The audacity. I had nothing to do with that. 

In one breath, I replied, “We need to talk.” 

He shrugged. “Whatever you need to say, you can do it in front of my family.” 

My hands fisted at my sides. “Fine!” I exclaimed, pissed at his cocky bullshit demeanor as if he could intimidate me. “Have it your way,” I added, never once holding back as I snapped…

“I’m pregnant with your baby!” 

Chapter 1

Hazel

Then: Eleven Years Ago

The first time I realized I was in love with my twin brother’s best friend Ledger, I was nine years old. During recess, the class bully set his eyes on me and pushed me off the monkey bars. 

Except I didn’t need anyone to protect me. I was raised on a ranch with a brother I had to keep up with. I was tough, but sometimes it felt like I went from being a tomboy and dressing in his clothes to a girly girl who only wore dresses and heels overnight. I became obsessed with fashion, particularly designing my own. 

After I fell to the ground, I was about to jump up and give that bully one hell of a fight. However, before I could, Ledger was right in his face, body checking his chest, completely squaring up to him. Let’s just say, from that moment forward, I was never picked on by anyone again. 

Since we were all the same age and in the same grade, I often hung out with my brother and his friends. Chance and I were always close, and the truth was, he would forever be my best friend. People always said that twins shared a special connection formed in the womb. 

In the case of Chance and I, it was true. We had a deep bond that most people didn’t understand. Sometimes we knew what each other was thinking without saying a word. Other times, we finished one another sentences. We even had our own language when we were kids, driving our parents insane, simply making it more amusing for us to continue to provoke them. 

Chance was only two minutes older than me, and he never let me forget it. If Ledger hadn’t protected me that day, it would have been my brother. This led me back to just one of the many reasons I could never show or tell Ledger how I felt about him. Chance would shit a brick if his best friend ever laid eyes on me with anything other than sisterly affection. 

I kept my feelings a secret from everyone except my journal. It was the only thing I had to sincerely express myself about my desire to feel Ledger’s lips on mine. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I dated a few guys over the years, but none of them held a torch to my brother’s best friend. 

Writing my emotions on paper without worrying about Chance finding out was the only escape I had in a situation I had no control over. Because of that, I kept my distance from Ledger, never allowing him to get too close to me. 

Of course, we were friends. I’d known him since I was four years old. There wasn’t much I hadn’t seen regarding our childhood and growing up together. 

I was there when he had his first kiss with Maggie Cinabello at her thirteenth birthday party. They played Seven Minutes in Heaven, and according to everyone, Ledger also rounded second base that night. 

I was there when he lost his virginity to Claire Uptom in the woods at the after-party of our ninth-grade homecoming dance. I still remembered the expression on his face as he walked out of the woods, hand in hand with her. If I thought watching him with Maggie hurt, witnessing him with Claire broke my fifteen-year-old heart in ways I never saw coming. 

I was even there when he had his first threesome with Makayla and Tiffany after junior prom. Two cheerleaders, a brunette and blonde in the hotel suite we rented without our parents knowing. I slept on the pull-out couch, refusing to go anywhere near the bed where he did the deed. 

I still remembered hearing them moan and the wall between us tremble from the relentless headboard banging against the thin wall. It was the first time I felt hatred for him. It took everything inside me not to leave that night and go back home, but then I’d be ruining my brother’s night too. He had his own chick in the other bedroom. 

While Ledger had the power to piss me off like no one else could, he also had the ability to make me melt from a simple gesture. After he was done with his little party that night, he came out into the living room where I was trying to sleep, saying I could take the bed instead, and he’d crash on the couch. 

I played it off like it didn’t affect me, but the last thing I wanted to do was sleep on that bed. Let alone have to be in that room where he just did God knows what. I told him I was fine, and before he walked back into his bedroom, he tossed me a blanket and kissed my forehead. 

Ugh! 

A kiss on the forehead was the death sentence in the friend zone. 

The list of things I saw Ledger experience for the first time was endless. 

Including his first beer. 

His first car. 

His first horse—a dark brown Quarter Bay stallion with a black mane and tail and a white stripe down his nose that he still rode to this day. While Ledger was a proud cowboy who wanted nothing more than to inherit his daddy’s ranch, I was the complete opposite. I wanted to run away from this small town and never look back. 

My brother, on the other hand, was somewhere in the middle. 

My knowledge of Ledger Beckham didn’t end there. Not only was I a bystander on most of his firsts but I also knew a lot about him. It came with the territory of growing up together. Some of the memories I cherished, others I despised. 

“What are you thinking about over there?” Chance questioned, leaning against the doorframe of our shared bathroom.

We had Jack and Jill bedrooms our entire lives, living in the same house since the day we were born. 

I smiled, looking at him through the mirror of my makeup vanity.

“I’m just finishing up getting ready for Ledger’s graduation party.” 

He nodded, folding his arms over his chest. 

According to most of the female population at all our schools, Chance was drop-dead gorgeous. He was quite the ladies’ man. He and Ledger were quite the dynamic duo. Ledger was the bad boy, so to speak, and my brother was my nice guy with an edge. The number of girls who threw themselves at them on the regular wasn’t lost on me. 

“I can’t believe you leave for New York tomorrow,” he shared, tearing me away from my thoughts. 

“I know.” 

“Why did you enroll in summer session again?” 

I shrugged, knowing exactly why I did.

It made things easier for me. I needed to get on with my life and stop holding on to the fantasy that Ledger would eventually be mine. I couldn’t do that when I basically saw him every day. 

“There’s no reason to put off the inevitable. Plus, it gives me a chance to get the classes I want. Freshman are at the bottom of the barrel at the Fashion Institute, so I’ll take all the help I can get.” 

“Does that mean I can’t change your mind?” 

I shook my head. “You’re a little late for that. Mom and Dad already paid my yearly tuition for an out-of-state university, and they’d kill me if I decided to pull out now.” 

He stepped into my room. “What if I tell them it’s my fault?” 

I smiled, still gazing at him through the mirror. “I’m going to miss you too, Chance.” 

He gave me a loving smile, sitting on the edge of my bed. 

“It’s going to be so weird not having you around anymore.” 

“You can always come and visit me, you know that. And I’ll be back for Thanksgiving.” 

“That’s five months away.” 

“So come and visit me at the end of the summer. There’s a pull-out couch with your name on it in my apartment.” 

“Remind me why you’re living alone again?” 

“You need to stop worrying about me. I’m going to be fine.” 

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to live in the dorms in a city where you don’t know anyone.”

“I live near campus.” 

“Whatever you say, little sister.” 

I rolled my eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you that two minutes is not that big of a deal?” 

“As many as it takes for you to remember that it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll always be my little sister.”

I turned in my chair to meet his eyes, changing the subject. “When do you move in with Ledger?” 

“At the end of the month.” Jumping right back into the conversation I was trying to avoid, he asked, “You can always drop out and enroll at Wyoming University with us. It’s not too late to rent a three-bedroom apartment.” 

“Because good ole Wyoming University has a top-notch fashion department, right?” 

“Well,” he exclaimed. “Don’t forget about us little people when you become the next big thing in Vogue.” 

I chuckled. “Your future wife will truly appreciate how much you know about fashion because of me.” 

“If by that you mean how you’ve tortured me over the years with watching every fashion show known to man?” 

I chuckled again, standing before giving him a little twirl. “How do I look?” 

He cocked an eyebrow. “Isn’t that dress a little much?” 

“Chance, you and I both know I’ve always been a little much for this small-ass town.” 

He stood, sighing deeply. “Did you design it yourself?” 

“But of course. When do I ever wear clothes I don’t design?” 

He nodded, standing in front of me.

After eighteen years, this would be the first time we wouldn’t be living in the same house right beside each other. As much as I’d miss him, I was ready to have my own identity where I wasn’t Chance Blakely’s twin sister. New York was a fresh start for me. Nobody knew me there—I could be anyone I wanted, and I wanted that more than anything. 

Chance grabbed my shoulders. “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t hate that you’re moving, little sister.” 

“I just think it’s time I experience life without my older twin brother by my side.” 

“Hey, I let you have boyfriends.” 

“Hardly.” 

He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me into a tight hug.

“But look how amazing you turned out with my brotherly guidance.” 

“Don’t toot your own horn or anything. I was the one who taught you how to dance.” 

“And I was the one who taught you how to throw a football.” 

“My tailspin is definitely on point.” 

“So is your fumble.” 

I elbowed him in the ribs. 

With a loving expression, he coaxed, “I love you, Zel.” 

“I love you too, Chance.” 

Despite being in my brothers embrace, I couldn’t help but think about what I was determined to make happen that night. It was now or never, this was my last opportunity because this time tomorrow, I’d be alone in my new apartment…

Except I was silently hoping. 

I’d no longer be a virgin.